What follows is the introduction 
and table of contents of Tim's book
about returning to Gods kingdom

if you want a personally published copy
(booklets in a cardstock box-see illustration)
Or of "A Real Christmas" (Short story)
Tim For information on how to purchase.

A Glorious Future Awaits

By Timothy L Prince

A Sinner’s Return to Christ’s

Church And His Temple

Poems, Letters,

And Journal Entries Of   

Timothy  L  Prince

A   Grateful   Recovering

Sexaholic.  

Page 1

copyright 1998

This book is not an official publication of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or was it encouraged by any program that uses the twelve steps initially used by Alcoholics Anonymous. The author has made an attempt to follow the anonymity of the twelve traditions,2 but he fears his inadequacy.  So many are grateful for AA who has kindly allowed other addictions to benefit from the miraculous simple power of the steps.  All opinions expressed here are the author’s and are not necessarily those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or any twelve step group.

Also visit Tim’s recovery web site

http://princetim.tripod.com

or Email me at

 Tim-P@msn.com

(Tim Prince is a  pseudonym)

I am a Prince

only when I submit to

God’s will

2. “We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV”

Page 2

F e e l i n g s  F o u n d 

in   P o e t r y   a r e  

i n t e n s i f i e d

w h e n    r e a d   a l o u d

  Page 3

Dedicated to

the loving leaders

of the Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter Day Saints  (the Mormons)

who have deeply effected my life

and my repentance

All names are changed in this book

so I will not mention leader’s names.

Their influence and

the names I gave to them

are here inside these pages

and inside my heart. 3 

3. I am not only keeping first name anonymity used in 12 step programs with every person in this book, but I have changed all names also.  

  Page 4

It is my hope

and my belief that

the Lord never permits

the light of faith

wholly to be extinguished

in any human heart, however

faint the light may glow.

Pres. J Reuben Clark Jr.

Gen. Conf.  Oct. 1936

We function best in an environment of freedom. 

We are free when we are independent

and we are totally independent

only when we are completely dependent 

upon the Savior.

Hugh W. Pinnock,

Devotional Speeches Of The Year,  Provo, Utah:

 Brigham Young University Press,

1979, p 116.  

Page 5

Ponder These Things

Tim has shared his writings freely. 

If you know him or anyone else

in these pages please do

as Mary did that

original Christmas as she

“pondered them in her heart.”4

Tim’s wife and children did

give permission to use real names.

These events are however better

used as food for meditation

and left in the past. 

We all are better off

grounded in the present

while looking forward to our own

“ Glorious Future.”

A royal future possible for Tim

only as he turns to God

and submits fully to Christ’s will.

4 Luke 2:19

Page 6

Preface

A fear of sex offenders is evident in today’s world.  Reasons are real and legitimate.  This book of the poems and writings of Tim may not be for everyone.  This fear and hatred of people with hardened hearts who offend others may prevent some from seeing past that fear.  Tim acknowledges that.  Tim must admit that it is best that this fear of sex offenders never be entirely ignored.  Only with time and working through the sometimes painful process of healing can a victim be able to forgive, if it ever comes.  Real and serene healing though can only come if forgiveness of those who harmed us is part of it.  It can truthfully be said that every perpetrator was at one time a victim.  It is hoped that real shared feelings found here may even help some to forgive us, the perpetrators. 

Tim’s poems are efforts to record situations confronted en-route back to God’s church.  Experiences are encountered during recovery from addiction toward full fellowship and restoration of the Lord’s Priesthood and its blessings.

Real life situations bring emotions and feelings that teach Tim to feel more deeply.  Some of those have nothing to do with addiction or spiritual things at first glance, but they do.5  Pets, family outings, car wrecks, and even sporting events, are all emotional growth experiences.  Tim is an Addict.  Like any

5. D&C 29:34

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 addict he will always be an addict.  Recovery does not change that fact.  However, Tim does not need to act on the lust compulsion.  He can turn to God.  Surrender to God is his only hope.6  Since excommunication over a dozen years ago heartfelt feelings deep within have brought joy, pain, and progress.  That emotional route is felt in his poetry.

The spirit told Tim to compile his poems for ecclesiastical leaders.  A new effort to gain enough faith started.  This search for faith had been tried many times, for Tim faith still grows slowly and in steps. 

(L 7 Be Careful.)  This symbol is used throughout to warn of sexually explicit material.  I have tried to be tasteful.   This honesty was felt necessary to relate to those with addictive compulsive behaviors of a sexual nature.  (See letter on 18-2 for more on why.)  

The years of when the events depicted happened and/or the year they were written have been included after the title of each poem for comparison. Year 1 is his arrest.  The first two and a half years are the time of incarceration.  When the inspiration was felt to put years on each poem Tim discovered that some poems had been missed in the transfer to a personal computer.  It seemed a sign

6. Mosiah 3:19

7.  L is used to warn of sexually explicit material thought necessay to include. 

Page 8

that this new book should be started.  Poems had until then been put in Tim’s book entitled ‘Neath A Weeping Willow’.  The missing poems were combined with his newest poems, and this book was started.  Some poems were put in a booklet for the stake disciplinary council.  Chapter 6 is that collection.  A few other poems are also older.  “Poetry is My Feelings” was renamed and verses added.

Except for these, most of Tim’s early poems may never be published.  May God’s will decide that.  Tim’s writings have taught him new understandings of  God’s love.   Deep within a now feeling heart, Tim hopes that this small part of the process of learning to feel can give serenity, joy, hope, peace, and forgiveness to others.  Tim’s hope for those who read is that their hearts might feel even a small part of what his heart experienced as God taught him, and in doing so learn to forgive him and others.

page 9

Why was this book written?

1. Timothy needed a way to express and process the deep feelings of both pain and joy that God used to teach him spiritual realties.

2 After and during each learning experience came a desire to share God’s teachings about  feelings.  A desire came to perhaps comfort and aid others in healing by sharing my own healing and the forgiveness of myself and others.

Who should read these poems?

1. Sex addicts.

2.  Any victim, sexual or otherwise.  Shared feelings can help bring forgiveness and healing.

3.  People who have a fear of sex offenders.

4.  Any spouse of a sex addict. It does not matter whether they leave them or stay with them as my Vivian did.  Healing comes by learning to forgive their partner.

5. People who feel.

Could you benefit from these writings?

Yes, for you have feelings.  All Gods children are people who feel.  Feelings are stronger and more motivating than logic.  Logic oriented people at times unknowingly trample another’s tender feelings.  Even those who learn to hide them still have feelings hidden under an angry, selfish, hardened, and hurting heart.

page 10

Introduction

My writings are heartfelt efforts at self discovery and of real personal relations.  As I thought about wanting to publish, the 12 step practice of using only first names to keep anonymity seemed useful.  I have no desire to further harm anyone whether innocent or guilty.  I have  “been there and done that.” 

There were times when I gave up and quit trying to fight the pull of pornography.  I did not write during those periods.  God does not teach me when I do not turn to Him.  In a very real sense these are not my writings.  They are Gods.  As an addict I am helpless without enough belief in my Higher Power.  I needed enough faith to both turn to God and to understand His unconditional love.  I once falsely believed He was a bully, too angry and judgmental to be there for me when I felt guilty and helpless.  He is always there, patient, waiting for us to turn to him

Overcoming addiction by using the steps does not come only in my way.  Regardless of how God is understood by each individual, a power to change comes in 12 step groups.  Out of respect for this inspired program I tried, in Chap. 9 & 10, to put every reference to my church in Generic terms. I try, without complete success, to do this in step meetings.

I have just discovered some helpful open 12-step groups.  Though generic in nature they are LDS oriented.  The spirit is so strong in these meetings, and while I work in the workbook.8   What a thrill to be able to express my testimony of the restored church in a 12-step meeting.  I still feel that the closed meetings still seem necessary for the firm friendly help of those who understand firsthand my specific addiction of lust. 

The steps work and not just for Mormons. The 12 steps are not even just for Christians.  Recovery’s spiritualness though it must be shared to be effective is a personal thing.  Even an agnostic I know found a “Higher Power” that worked.  God unconditionally loves all his children. 

8. Colleen C Bernhard; He Did Deliver Me From Bondage Windhaven P 39

page 11

Almost all of these writings and Poems were written after my request for re-baptism was sent to Salt Lake.  Christ now is my best friend.  I really believe He can and will help me.  He is truly an accepted part of my life.  Lust addiction is still real and always will be, but I have quit clinging to it.  My false god is not all powerful.  I can turn to my true Higher Power and seek to do His will.

The process of getting ready to enter the waters of re-baptism was a new beginning for me. preparation  for Priesthood and Temple blessing restoration continues that process.  The beginning started with this book and with compiling all my many poems for ecclesiastical leaders.  It includes in altered form written requests to the First Presidency for re-baptism and the first failed attempt for blessing restoration.  The culmination of this book was when I entered the temple again with full blessings restored.   

I am learning about God’s unique plans for my life.  Change and surprises will always be a part, but by turning to Christ I can do things I cannot otherwise do.

My Higher Power though does not seem to want me to miss anything about the process of repentance.  My stubborn pride interferes.  It has been a slow step by step process.  God does not hurry.  As an addict I have been ruled by the desire for “instant gratification” using pornography and fantasy.  The process of learning patience, though it has been long and frustrating at times, has already had so many happy rewards.

May quotes from my Patriarchal Blessing be for all of us and may you think of His love for you. 

page 12

“Do you think for a moment that Heavenly Father would have sent one of His children to earth by accident, without the possibility of a significant work to perform?”

“--- You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose.  Not just a few of you but all of you.  There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you. --- If you will let Him, I testify that our Heavenly Father will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here.”[10]

Call upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon us. --- pour out your souls in your closets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness. [11]

It would not hurt us either if we paused at the end of our prayers to do some intense listening --- even for a moment or two --- always praying as the Savior did, “not my will but thine be done.” (Luke 22:42) [12]

9. The Title, subtitles of the prologue, Chapt 2,5, & 6 come from this quote.

10. Peterson H Burke; Your life has purpose; New Era; May 1979; p 4-5

11.Alma 34:17-26

12. Kimball, Spencer W; Ensign Nov !979; p 4-5

page 13 

Poetic License

I lack the expertise I desire in the meter of poetry.  I am learning. The messages though of my works will always take precedence over pureness of poetic form.  As I learn my work will get better.  The feeling level will be strengthened even further by the form Upon the advise of an editor I even stopped writing feeling poetry for a time to try to learn poetic form.  I am still learning, but I found my own spiritual health was too important.  Leaving feelings out is not for continued sobriety reasons an option.

Though I admire her works passionately,

I do not write like Emily Dickinson. 

I only pray readers may feel God’s spirit

and the feelings I had as I was taught 

the deep inner workings of my real soul.

page 14 

A list of people that are part of these writings: These people are real.  All their names are changed and only first names are used.  For modern apostles, titles with apostolic names from scripture are used.  For other church leaders' titles with first names borrowed from scripture are used. Tim  ---------------------------  A repenting son of God who is learning to feel spiritual feelings deeply. Vivian   ---------------------------------- Tim’s wife who stood by him even when she hated his actions. Bart  ------------------------------------------------------------  Tim’s silent best friend before he left mortality Molly  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Bart’s Spouse. Bishop Luke  ----------------------------------------------------- Ecclesiastical leader of Tim’s congregation. Pres. Alma ---------------------------------------------------- Ecclesiastical leader of several congregations. Dave, Titus, Fred, Abel, Bob, Martha, Jacob  ------------  Friends, or members of Tim’s congregation Pres. Peter, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Living Prophet  Elder Paul, Elder Jonas, and Bishop Jacob  ------ General Authorities of Christ’s Latter Day Church. Camella, Felysha, Erin, Daryle, Alec, Elam, & Randolph ------------------------------------ Tim’s Children. Michelle, Louisa, Leah  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Daughters in-law Amanda, Tiffany, Meredith, Kari  ------------------------------------------------------------------- Grandchildren. Marie, and Elaine  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim’s Sisters. Ben  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brother in Law Kari and Gary --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tim’s Mother and Father Les -- Tim’s special guardian angel and his Grandfather (Tim’s middle name is for this Grandfather.) Ann, we watched Alzheimer’s deterioration  ---------------------------------------------------- Mother in Law. Jill (step-), and Anton. --------------------------------------------------------------------  loving In-law parents. Erin, Jake, Janis  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------  nephews and nieces Keith  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Tim’s sponsor in a 12 step group Lance & Lynette  ---------------------------------------------------------------- Friends who are divorcing again Shawn, Spencer --------------------------------------------------- by being bullies they helped me trust God.