mall walking

today was

so different.

I walked hand in hand

with my best girl, my wife.

marveling, feeling togetherness.

with God’s help

prayer’s power

surrender

God does what I cannot do.

temptations become beautiful 

daughters of Heavenly Father

was the mall

wonderful

fantasy?

in the past Tim ritually

prepared to masturbate

in fantasy, in loneliness.

a place for

sexual imagining,

spring’s uncovering,

feeding the lusts of the flesh,

that were an important part

of my satanic loneliness.

with my eyes

undressing

inside my head

my unreal fantasy goddess

for a moment pleasuring me,

‘til lust covered up loneliness.

I’m on a

special date

with Vivian

a lunch during her break,

a drink, roast beef sandwiches

sharing intimate moments.

rich feelings

for another,

not alone

intimacy is trust

reminding of marriage vows,

our peaceful togetherness

I gaze

Vivian has

inner beauty

revealed in her blue eyes

more than covered body parts

we simply love each other

yes triggers

are still there

but prayer

for Heavenly Father’s daughters

replaces lust object fantasies

and the isolating loneliness.

the Mall

still has

boundaries;

Tim must prayerfully,

Allow the, “let go and let God”

And not stay in the mall alone,